A step-by-step guide to mastering your arousal: eight steps and twenty exercises to make sex last without holding back, fighting your body or counting ceiling tiles.
Most men assume this is simply how they're built. Some are "naturally good at it", the rest just have to live with it.
It isn't true. Lasting longer is a skill, and like any physical skill it can be learnt.
A racing heart, muscle contractions, a wave of pleasure, a feeling of release.
The expulsion of semen, controlled in part by a muscle almost nobody trains.
They almost always happen together, but they can be separated. Learn to tell them apart, train the right muscle, and you choose when the evening ends, not your reflexes.
The guide teaches you to read your arousal on a 1–10 scale, down to half-levels. The whole method turns on one number: 9.9, the point of no return.
Find and train the muscle that acts as your brake. Three weeks, a few minutes a day.
Swap performance anxiety for attention, using the sensate focus approach from sex therapy.
Learn to place yourself precisely on the 1–10 scale, at every moment.
Slow your arousal down without stopping what you're doing.
Four levers to stay at a high level for minutes rather than seconds.
Discover the window between "it's coming" and the reflex itself.
Two approaches, step by step, to keep your erection and carry on.
Lengthen the gap, aim for a third orgasm, and find your own style.
This is the instant you tip over: orgasm becomes inevitable. Most men believe nothing can be done at this stage.
The programme teaches you that you still have room to manoeuvre, provided you have a trained muscle and a fine awareness of that moment.
| Breath | Fast, almost panting breaths to go up. Slow, deep breaths to come down. |
| PC | Release to go up. Contract, several times, to come down. |
| Rhythm | Speed up to go up. Slow down to come down. |
| Attention | Focus on the most stimulated area to go up, and shift it to come down. |
At the point of no return, four simultaneous actions:
You are neither a spectator nor a training tool. This programme only works if you enjoy it too.
When he stops, you stop too. Immediately. Even when it's hard.
Anouk Lengte writes about sexuality, relationships and shared pleasure. All Night brings together, as a practical programme, arousal-control techniques drawn from sex therapy and tried by many couples.
No. Most exercises come in a solo version and a partnered version. Many men learn alone first, then bring the skills into their relationship.
The sample schedule runs over 12 weeks. Some men go faster, others take four or five months. Each step ends with a milestone, so you always know whether you're ready to move on.
No guide can promise that. What it does give you is a structured, progressive method and clear markers of progress. It assumes your basic sexual function is normal; if it isn't, start with your GP.
As a PDF you can download straight after purchase and read on your phone, tablet or computer. The progress log pages are designed to be printed.
It's frank and practical, written as sex education for adults. No images, no pornography: clear explanations and exercises.
Eight steps, twenty exercises, a 12-week schedule and a printable progress log, for you alone or for both of you.
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